Here are two Associated Press stories about a poll of American expectations for the new year. One headline reads: “AP poll: Americans optimistic for 2007.” But the other says, “Poll: Americans see gloom, doom in 2007.”

These articles are reporting on the same AOL-AP poll, looking at the same data. But the two writers decided to report on different questions in the poll to fit their opposing narratives. On balance, it really means that our countrymen expect some good things to happen in 2007, and some bad things as well. You know, kinda like every other year. Yawn.

But this nugget, in the “gloom” article, caught my eye:

One in four, 25 percent, anticipates the second coming of Jesus Christ.

Can that be right? Do 25 percent of Americans really believe that Christ is coming in 2007? I mean, as a Christian, I believe that He is coming, and we should be prepared always, because it will be as a thief in the night, and we know not the day nor the hour, and all that. He is coming in glory to judge the living and the dead, and of His kingdom there shall be no end. (Interesting that the AP would cite this event as a ‘gloomy’ prediction, right under “the military draft will be reinstated.” Where are their priorities, anyway?)

But I am unaware of any particular reason to think this will all happen in the next twelve months. If you are one of the purported 25 percent who expects the Second Coming in 2007, please feel free to explain why, in the comments.

A new gadget being marketed to japanese women simulates conversation with their houseplants. The Hanakotoba plant translator can sense when a plant is being touched, and responds with 200 different affectionate phrases.

I already know what Mark Steyn would say: “We are the children we never had.”

Researchers in Canada have cured diabetes in mice! The breakthrough is being hailed as “shocking,” “amazing,” and “stunning.” But I’m wondering, even if it works, how many diabetic mice will be able to afford the treatment?

The Heart Attack Grill, in Tempe, Arizona, has been advised by the state attorney general that calling their waitresses “nurses” is a violation of Arizona Statute A.R.S. 32-1636. They can still wear the costumes, though.

In today’s news, Santa Claus has been banned from appearing on beer labels in Maine, and from gesturing with a Nazi salute in Germany.

The Fourth District Court of Appeals ruled that the cross in the San Diego Mount Soledad War Memorial will not be torn down. A setback for the ACLU, and other intolerant sorts.